"If your memories are bigger than your dreams, you're headed for the grave."
this really has stuck with me.
particularly because i have the unfortunate burden of a nearly perfect photographic memory (more accurately called eidetic memory), and i have always struggled with memories and their general power over most of my life in many and nearly all ways.
to digress for a moment, there is a near universal reaction when i tell people i have such memory skills.
jealousy.
"man, that's great!"
"i wish i had that!"
"you're so lucky!"yes, while there are certainly benefits to having a brain that processes information in such a way (e.g., whenever a teacher just before a test would say "class, put away your books and notes. you're not going to learn anything in the next five minutes that you don't already know" i wanted to say "ah-ah-ah, but i will!"). the thing most people don't think about is that i don't have a choice in this memory. i don't just get to remember the nice, happy, fun things in life.
i remember EVERYthing.
vividly.
and it's constantly going, like a never-ending circular rolodex.
so, every heartache, heartbreak, disapproving look, negative comment, physical pain, weepy moment is recalled with vividness as if it had only just happened a couple hours before.
and this goes back to at least kindergarten.
but, like with most things, to every side there is an equal and opposite side.
that said, i wouldn't give up this ability. it has helped me in many ways, when approached with the right attitude of course.
i have found it to be very useful in being a good friend and listener.
it has helped when coming up with ad campaign ideas to remember what i've seen done before so as to not repeat it.
it has been superbly great in movie quote battles. or movie scene reenactments.
of course.
:)
okay, so back to the topic at hand, memories versus dreams.
what brought this to the presence of mind again, not that it had left necessarily, was seeing The Adjustment Bureau today with my Momma. the movie didn't really allude to or promote the same idea, but it was more a feeling i realized, and often do while watching movies.
i LOVE movies.
i love watching them, experiencing them, taking them in, absorbing them, and learning from them.
and one thing that never fails is that i always see things that i can fully imagine myself doing or taking a part in, in real life. no matter the job or occupation or experience or place in life the main (and ancillary) characters are portraying, i see passions i have and fully can believe that i could achieve in life.
this is, in part, due to the fact that over the course of my own life i have done and experienced quite a vast array of things. from high society events to the most bare-bones, wilderness endeavors and everything in between. partly this was at the prodding of family. some at the pushing of friends. even some personal goals in the mix.
but, as i was watching the movie, i started to think to myself:
"i am ridiculous. why would i think that i would ever try to, or even want to, pursue a life inside NYC office buildings, wearing three-piece suits and aspiring to politics? i can't do that. not at this point in my life. i've missed the opportunities/chances/etc. to have such a life. i need to realize that the road i'm on has limited options and i need to live within them. and be glad about it."luckily, that saying i heard this past week immediately crept in and took over, moving me to think:
"you're never too old to dream. as long as you're alive, you can try for anything. and maybe i won't do the things i'm thinking of right at the moment, but to be able to think of them -- to see them as a viable option and possibility -- to DREAM of a life different from what i am experiencing now ... THAT is what keeps me alive."hope.
excitement.
the ever-present notion that more is out there, and i will go after it.
these are things that keep me smiling on the darkest of days.
these are things that keep me smiling on the dullest of days.
these are things that keep me smiling.
here is an image to put to these thousand words:
and a great quote by an author i admire more than many:
1 comment:
Hello Thom,
I find that as my age increases, so too do the opportunities to link memories (particularly in the form of dreams) to my future aspirations. Not too long ago, I watched a documentary on dreams, and what struck me as interesting was the difference between lucid dreaming and REM dreaming. Now, this was confirmed through experimentation on rats, but in lucid dreaming, we reenact the events of our waking like in a way to register with our subconsciousness, the synapses active in those events. Now, it is in our REM dreams that we take those reenactments, and apply them to hypothetical situations, in essence, a rehearsal for the possible situations we may encounter, and thanks to our subconscious, we will be prepared to face those events. This was essential to survival as hunters/gatherers, but I would say it has a pretty useful function in today's era of urban nomads.
Good Day Sir
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